“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to invest all their resources into canned food and shotguns.” This piece of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, talking, spectacled member of the slick creature crowd that swarms Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s merely an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. Yet, oddly enough, it’s also surprisingly sturdy existential counsel. Truly, consider my perspective.
When life takes a turn for the worse, the most counterproductive action you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Actually, most of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating the mundane and pure pandemonium. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the underlying idea that resonates the most.
Of course, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an philosophical plane. Growing up, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an independent video outlet and featuring growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my childhood viewing routine.
Dante’s first film commonly garners all the praise, thanks largely to its status as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. Nevertheless, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Over time, it became deeply rooted in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they gave no indication of concern.
As I got older, new insights enhanced multiple watches, heightening the enjoyment of watching small emerald creatures joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his actual-world equivalent.
The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was inspired by a genuine “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, another for home video and television, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.
While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no qualms informing me he made the movie with the specific aim of ridiculing those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This cartoonish defiance and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.
When I endured a unexpected loss in the family earlier this year, I was surprised to find that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it provided was needed to dilute my mind’s sadness sludge – but the perspectives it had given me as an adult were equally valuable.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.
It’s strong life advice from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.
